ext_70948 ([identity profile] aki-hoshi.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] aoifene 2007-06-06 11:50 pm (UTC)

Hmm...Well, I suppose. I don't know. I guess I have a pretty distinct image of the infirmary in my mind, so in my head, there's only one entrance, waiting room or not, so I'd rather imagine that even in his anxiety, Harry would see Snape and bombard him with questions, which would then be blown off. *shrug* But it would also make sense for Snape not to be seen.

As for the commas; no, I agree with you, you should write for yourself - I guess, what I was trying to get at, was that the natural flow of words isn't really...flowing properly. Like, almost run-on sentence-like, because there are nearly no breaks for breath. *shrug* Perhaps I'm the only one with that opinion, or perhaps I'm the only one noticing and trying to help you more with your writing. I'm not trying to be offensive. There are more than enough times when I'll post something on Schnoogle, for example, who has someone go through each chapter for spelling and grammatical errors, and more often than not, I'm frustrated at it having been sent back to me for a barely noticeable error, or one that I don't really think makes it's worth not putting up. Especially when it takes nearly ten day just to get it posted the first time. *rolls eyes*

Another powerful tool that's always underused is the semi-colon. Very useful. Doesn't get enough glory. ^__^

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