The Seventh SinAuthor:
Aoife Malfoy aoifene Pairing:
Pure Angst (*sobs* I missed you so much!)Rating:
NC-17 for dark themes and languageBeta:
My lovelies kit84
and emmymay Challenge:
entry to Challenge #155 at The Dark GardenWarnings:
AU. Post-HBP. Harry POV. This is a sequel to the The Sixth Sin
. It is imperative you read that first so you can make sense of this one. Disclaimer:
Harry Potter is property of JKR, only borrowing for my own twisted means.AN:
Remember how much of a mind fuck the first one was? Same thing. My rendition of a happy ending.Dedication:
Written solely for kit84
who both beat me into submission. Without them, this fic wouldn't exist.Summary:
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.( Read more... )
After all, it was the instigator to many things in my life that led to events that were, on the whole, nerve racking and life threatening. It made sneaking into the Restricted Section a thoughtless habit and sticking my nose into everyone’s business an ingrained trait. Roaming freely and unchecked around the school as I was growing up didn’t help my already dangerous curiosity. This was why, when I heard two voices in the kitchenette of our hotel room, I didn’t go in and outright confront the occupants.
I stayed in the shadows and listened.
And promptly felt the destruction of my carefully construed world as I heard the truth unravel from my lover’s lips, in all its terrifying glory.
“You must stop this foolishness, Draco! Come home now! I’ve indulge your dalliances long enough! Your work is not done. We still need you.” The sharp voice of Lucius Malfoy rang throughout the room.
“Lucius, you forget who you’re talking to. You talk as if you expect me to obey without question. I thought I cured you of this delusion. I work for no one. Not you, and certainly not that pathetic excuse for a Dark Lord. Honestly! Why do follow the idiot? He prances around all of Europe, threatening left, right and center but never really establishing control. Seems more like a trifling drama queen rather than the rightful ruler that he is posturing himself to be.” Draco’s scathing reply made me stiffen, and my mind swam with a mixture of confusion and apprehension. What the hell was going on here?
“Silence! I will not stand here and be disrespected! I am still-”
“My father, yes. Merlin, Lucius! I haven’t forgotten. My brains haven’t been addled in the slightest! I know perfectly well who you are and frankly, I don’t care. I might have once when I was young and foolish but no more. Your words mean nothing and if you are done, I shall be off. Harry will be home soon.”
“Ah. Yes. The half-blood that started it all. How is the boy? Have you killed him yet?”
There were sounds of pushing then and a solid thud. I held my breath, my heart filling with dread. Already I knew that this conversation was headed in a direction that I wouldn’t want to hear, but the shock of hearing Lucius Malfoy’s voice in our hideaway and the fact that Draco was coolly dismissive of him had rooted me to the floor. I was compelled to listen to more, if only to figure out what was happening. I strained to hear the words that were uttered next for it was released in a deadly whisper.
“Do not speak his name, Lucius. You should know better than anyone the lengths I would go to for him. I would gladly kill you right this second if it meant an easier life for him. If you so even touch him or give him any discomfort in any shape of form, I will go after you. And believe me, you will wish that you’d never had a son.”
“A bit too late for that.” Lucius wheezed out. His breath sounding like it was coming in short pants.
“Yes, well, we can’t all be Pureblood extremists now, can we? Now leave, before he sees you and don’t ever contact me again. If you tried, it will be the last thing you do.”
“Careful, son. I am still a powerful man. I do not take threats kindly.”
“It isn’t a threat, dear Father. It’s a promise. If Harry so much as furrows his brow over something you’ve done, you better check everything you ingest and sleep every night with your eyes open. You have made me a very effective assassin.”
I breathed in sharply at that, my face pale and my blood freezing cold at the admission. Draco, an assassin for the Dark Lord? How? And when? It can’t be! These thoughts tumbled through my mind as I tried to make sense of it all. My breaths are now coming in short rapid pants as I tried to get a hold of my feelings. Now was not the time to have a panic attack or lose my temper. If I didn’t get a hold of myself soon, something magical was going to happen and then I wouldn’t be able to hear the rest of it.
“Yes, I have and I will put my faith in that, Draco. You are a murderer. Once you’ve soaked your hands in blood and reveled in it, you can never go back. One does not just up and leave all that behind. The power and the ruthless passion with which you’ve killed all those Order members cannot be caged. You’ll look for it once again, and when you do, son. When you finally succumb to the blood lust that is singing in your veins, you’ll turn on the most convenient target and what better than the body you so proudly lay next to?”
A snarl and a solid thud against the kitchen wall. Both of which registered dimly at the back of my mind, I was still too busy reeling from the solid kick in the gut Lucius’ revelation had given me. Wild magic began to pulse through the air and it cackled menacingly as I began to lose the feeble grip I had on my temper. Rage, pure and strong gathered in my heart as I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists, but still a large piece of me remained stunned in disbelief. It can’t be true! It just can’t be! He would never! I thought in desperation and it was fortunate that Draco’s magic was going haywire as well at the slight by his father.
“I love Harry! I would never harm him!”
“Malfoys aren’t meant to love, Draco, you know that. You don’t love him. You own him. You dictate every move he makes and every decision he thinks of. He is your toy, son, nothing more. You can’t love him and neither can he love you back.”
“Liar! He loves me and I love him! Besides, as if I’ll ever listen to you? Especially concerning love? A subject you know nothing about!”
“That may very well be the case, Draco, but even I can see through this farce. Love involves a choice and you have eradicated all traces of that for the boy. He loves you because he has no other option. He stays with you because there is no one else who would care for him!”
A fierce yell and a sound of a punch.
“That may very well be the case, Lucius.” Draco parroted back his father’s words, his voice reverberating with malice and scorn. “But again you are telling me things I don’t give a flying fuck about. I don’t care about the reasons why Harry loves me so long as he does! The rest doesn’t matter!”
A scoff and the rustle of clothes.
“You will do well to remember that, Draco. A toy, though malleable and quite supple, has it limits. And when it breaks and believe me, boy, it will, you’ll find that the thing you covet the most is easy to discard and it will show you. He is one of many, replaceable and ultimately unremarkable. A toy has no use when it is broken.”
Deafening silence reigned after those words; and if not for the short, forceful pants of breath that punctured the air, I would have thought that both men had abruptly left. I, myself, wanted to do exactly just that. To runaway from this frightening truth that I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around and believe. To find a place where I could sit and be still. Be alone with my thoughts, to brush away the threads of disbelief, shock and overpowering anger that were threatening to overtake me. I was so intent on my chaotic thoughts that I nearly missed it, Draco’s cold reply which made a sudden chill trickle down my spine.
“Understand this, Lucius. The only reason you are still breathing right now is because I promised myself that the Weasel King would be the last person I’d ever kill; otherwise you would be dead on the floor for that insult.”
Mocking laughter filled the room, sharp and biting, nothing like Draco’s gentle chuckles.
“Does that gall you, Father? To know that the only thing saving you from a quick meaningless death is a Weasley?”
“Why you little bastard-”
“Imperio! You really are getting slow, old man. Now be a good little puppet and listen. You will take the floo and get out of this room. You will obliviate yourself of the last ten minutes when you reach your destination. Then you will never contact me again. Understood?”
“Yes,” came the stiff and flat reply, Lucius’ voice strangely devoid of its usual drawl and pomp.
“Good. Now go.”
At the sound of fading footsteps, I was snapped from my horrified trance. Draco can’t find me here! I can’t face him yet! He mustn’t know that I was eavesdropping! I thought in panic as I quickly bent down to retrieve my shopping and Apparated out of the room, not once seeing the small shopping bag I had accidentally left behind.
“Harry, is that you?” A voice tinged with panic and fear called out. Draco surveyed the room quickly, his eyes widening at the sight of the small nondescript shopping bag. He strode over it and picked it up, his face fell and frantic tears welled up in his eyes. He gripped the bag so hard that his knuckles turned white. Sickened realization and frantic denial filled his entire being. And as hot tears came sliding down his stricken face, he crumpled to the floor and whimpered, “Harry!”
Meanwhile, I sat down heavily on the driver’s seat of the car we had rented. A million thoughts and emotions lancing through me. Mechanically, I turned on the ignition and steered my car onto the open road with no particular destination in mind. I just needed to get the hell out of there!
But where would I go? There was really no one left. Draco had made sure of that. I thought bitterly and it stirred a conflicting and bewildering mix of resentment and sadness within me. There was no wise headmaster to offer cryptic advice and lemon drops, no mate to distract me with laughs and rants, no brainy witch to grant me well researched answers and lastly no more weary smiles and kind sympathetic words. They were all gone. Aside from Draco, their fucking killer, I was well and truly all alone in this world.
And what of Draco? The man who said he loved me at least ten times a day and showed it a thousand times more. Someone who was always by my side and had never really left me. He probably never will. And I needed that. Gods, how I hated it, but I am not fool enough to deny that I did. I needed him and I cursed him for making this so. For killing all my friends and isolating me from the world, but the thing I hated the most, one that twisted my insides and clouded my eyes with frozen tears was that even with this horrified knowledge, I still loved him. It was something that’s so terrible in its truth that I couldn’t deny it. The thought of leaving him made me physically ill. I’d be lost without him.
I shook my head in a useless attempt to dislodge this fact, to escape the tendrils of need and longing he’s managed to evoke in me. I tried to think of a world without him. It would be so easy to just keep on driving. Get lost in a world filled with strangers, never to be found again. Forget about being who I am. Hell I’ve already turned my back on being the Boy Who Lived, surely I could do the same with Harry Potter? I could be someone else and live another person’s life. Change my appearance and live on some remote island, peaceful and ignorant for the rest of my days.
I laughed bitterly as hysteria bubbled inside me. Who was I fucking kidding? I knew I could never do that. I was in too deep. I loved him too fast and too hard to ever let him go so easily. Already I am missing the relative safety of his arms and the tender baritone of his drawl against my ear. I shook my head, tears hot and warm now falling violently down my face. I can’t do this! I can’t live without him! But then again, I also can’t live knowing what he’s done. The terrible truth was burned into my mind and its stench stained each memory and every ounce of love I had for him. I know that I could never look at him the same way again. I could never withstand his touch without flinching, nor kiss those soft lips with utter abandon as I did before. For all I would see is that it was his elegant fingers that stabbed Ron to death and those lips that uttered the Killing Curse that ended Hermione’s life and countless others. I pulled over to the side of the road, my tears making everything blurred and hazy. Once parked, I slumped forward, hugged the steering wheel tightly and cried, more helpless and lost than I’ve ever been in my life.
I should have known! There were so many signs! I should have felt it in his touch, his caresses always felt too desperate and urgent. I should have tasted it on his tongue which always claimed and possessed every surface of my body. It was even palpable in every kiss, for each time we drew together, his eyes were always open and intent, seeing everything while I kept mine closed, willingly blind to everything but him.
I whimpered softly, the feeling of betrayal, hatred and love tearing me from within. And I knew that if I decided to go back to that hotel room tonight, I’ll kill him the moment I saw him. After that, I would probably turn the wand on myself. For his death, no matter how deserved, would be the end of me as well.
“It’s not fair!” I shouted to the heavens. “I was happy! For the first time in my sodding life! He loves me! He does! And not because of my name or what I can or cannot do! He loves me for who I am. Why couldn’t I have seen that earlier? Why did he have to go to such extremes?” The last frenzied question left my lips in a chocked sob for it’s one question I feared most of all. Because there is a part of me that knows I wouldn’t have loved him so if everyone else was still alive. I wouldn’t have seen him in this new enthralling light, for my eyes wouldn’t have stilled long enough to have found him amidst the crowd of countless others.
I shook my head to clear it of that frightening thought which led to a line of thinking I dared not follow. Knowing that doing so would lead me to blame myself, something that I’ve already been doing for a multitude of sins and my heart could not stand another more. Coming to a decision and strengthening my resolve, I quickly gripped my wand, whispered an incantation and watched in trepidation as the tip began to glow.
I stared at the hotel room door blankly for what seemed like hours. Heart racing and my blood pumping in my ears, I tried in vain to follow the myriad of conflicting emotions whirling within me. Every time I believed I settled on one emotion, a half formed thought rose and chased it away, leaving me with a sense of utter bewilderment. Hatred, love, anger and desolation, each emotion warring against one another to gain purchase of my heart though the reasons behind each feeling are a mystery to me. I have no clue as to why I would feel so conflicted on this ordinary autumn day.
“Sir? Are you alright?” a voice broke through my jumbled thoughts.
I blinked slowly as I gathered my wits, trying to figure out how the hell I got to where I currently was. “Um Hi. Yeah, I’m fine.” I laughed nervously as I hurriedly reassured the hotel attendant.
The friendly man nodded his head. “Just wanted to check. If you need anything at all, sir, please feel free to call the lobby.”
“I will. Thank you.” I smiled wanly as I shook my head as if to clear it, racking my brains for any recollection as to what exactly happened to me this afternoon but my mind drew a blank. All I could remember was shopping in the supermarket and driving home. Suddenly fed up with just staring in confusion, not to mention I was still drawing the curious gaze of the bellhop, I reached for the door and turned the knob, knowing that whatever happens, Draco would be the one to make it all better.
“Draco?” I called out into the darkness and as I did my heart surged at the sight of the familiar room. I stepped into the threshold, conflicting emotions once again rising at the back of my throat, I set out to find my boyfriend.
**The Seventh Sin according to the writings of Christian monk, Evagrius Ponticus, was Luxuria or Lust. It is said to be the last of the seven deadly sins that lead to damnation. Lust is said to be invoked by the demon, Asmodeus, and eternal punishment is in the form of smothering in fire and brimstone.
-The Seven Deadly Sins by Wikipedia.org
See a year into this fic's future: Half Past Seven
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